you loved me the way fire loves to destroy. you loved me the way a knife loves to cut. i cut myself so deep when you left me but now i see your happier with the one who killed us…

yesterday i scratched the side of my hand to the point ware it was bleeding. yesterday my boyfriends friend came up to me and said ” jake showed me what you did and im dissapointed” i almost broke down. i went to my car and had a plan to drive into a wall. i scratched j + a into my leg above my ankle and i know what ive done and how i hurt him. he fallowed me to my car and held me in his arms for about an 45 minutes while i nearly cried my soul into a millon pieces….. 

cuddlemonsterbb:

goaheadandfakeasmile:

<3 this.

agreed 

i may not be who i say i am but at least i pull of the lie

stop it. just stop. stop hurting me. stop ripping my heart out. like today when you said i cant even talk to you about this stuff cause you go straight to your razor. do you have any idea how bad that hurts. to know thats what you think of me. i know you talk to your friends about me. but when they start asking how my life at home is. thats going to far. and when i send you a picture of something i put on my body when i was hallusinating and not thinking clearly that doesnt mean you go and show them! that right there shows i cant trust that anything i say to you is kept between us! i love you…. you hurt me more than anything…… ive cried more than i have in my life sence we started dating. i want to be with you. im tired of you telling everyone everything! when i tell or show you something that doesnt mean its yours to share. you dont get to tell people about how im treated or what im doing thats my business not yours. so stop it. ………………………… please

yesterday i was out with some friends and my boyfriend. we were all having fun. me and jake( my boyfriend) went out to look for a snip, but instead i laid down in the grass and closed my eyes. at that very moment i wanted to die. everything was perfect. i had the man i love laying next to me holding my hand. i was wishing so hard that my soul would just disapear out of my body and i could float away. i am losing all hope in myself i dont think im going to be able to control my suicidal actions much longer.